i had the worst nightmares ever last night. i dreamed i found a small tooth next to my left front tooth that has never been there before. it was loose so i tried to pull it and when it came off my whole front row of teeth cracked and fell out, too.
i suddenly woke up but went to sleep again and the next thing i know is that i tried to wake up, half in a dream half wakeup already. when i finally could make it back to reality i remember i dreamed i was on a bender again. but this time it took me only one glass of champagne, one beer and one glass of white wine to get blackout drunk. in my dream i was at a bar and i woke up next to my husband next morning, having this bad feeling of memory loss again and he looked at me and said "you did it again". i tried to defend "but i only had THREE drinks and i stopped after" and than realized, i didn't even remember if i stopped or what else happened after the last white wine i remembered. my tolerance for alcohol is going lower and lower..
the 2nd weekend sober and inside my apt and i am reading about my friends crazy nights and happenings on facebook every morning and feel i am drifting away from them with every day of staying away. on the other hand i am too afraid of myself trying to hangout with them at a bar, at night, staying strong and avoiding any kind of alcohol. the recent dream kinda reminded me too that it is way too early and all i would want if i were going is having the same fun as them, drinking and dancing and chatting, checking out the scene and just getting loose and putting all pressure behind.
i am afraid i will never be able to have that feeling again. it's driving me crazy..
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