Day 26

i am so bored. frustrated. depressed. the fun in life is totally gone. i don't see any benefit in cropping myself out of anything fun anymore. this was definitely the most boring month ever. the worst thing - i finally got my greencard and i haven't celebrated it AT ALL. this was my dream my whole life and now i have it. and there is no way to celebrate it. i have it and it seems i can't even express my excitment and share it with others other than on facebook. this is another thing which makes me want to kill myself. reading my friend's posts and shares about what they did last night. i don't have anything to share anymore. no more fun pictures to put up. my status would read: "sat on my couch, drank a protein shake, watched 'the hills' (yes, this is how far it came..) and took some 'calmes forte' or sudafed-kinda pill to put me asleep fast and long that i don't wake up too early and have to deal with another long boring day and early go-to-sleep routine. i wish i could take a pill which fast-forwards the 2 more months to go. it feels like 3 entire months will be cut off my life and i really don't know what i am gaining here anymore at this point. besides loosing dates with friends and getting jealous of other people's social life. it totally SUCKS!